How To Be A Movie Snob

Have you ever wanted to shove your vast knowledge of the art of cinema in your friends faces? Have you ever wanted to have everyone hate you because of your pompous views? If so, then you'd probably make a great movie snob. In the first part of an ongoing series, I, the greatest movie snob on Gabazooba, will show you all the steps you need to follow how to be that most hated of all movie lovers. These are in no particular order.

1. It's all about language my potential movie snobs. To be a true movie snob you must move past words like "Awesome" and "Great". Turn those childish Micheal Bay loving words into true movie snob language with phrases like "Bergmanesque" and "Self Indulgent". If you really want to succeed at being a movie snob, I would suggest investing in a thesaurus. Use it to change all of the words with 1 0r 2 syllables, into wards with at least 4.



2. Be outward with you opinion. If it seems like someone doesn't want to hear what you have to say, it's only because you haven't let them know how right you are yet. Don't be afraid to but in either, even if you don't know the person. They'll thank you later. Also, if you are standing in line for a movie line, that's the perfect time to speak very loudly so that everyone can hear you opinion, just like in Annie Hall. If they were real movie snobs, they'd thank you for the reference.



3. Don't forget to be subtle about your opinions either. I for instance have two T-shirts that express my movie snobbery. The first has the logo for Janus Films (if people ask what it is, I laugh) and the other features the logo for the Criterion Collection (if people ask what it is, I also laugh). Find ways to be subtle about it, i suggest ordering merchandise from places such as criterion.com. This lets everyone know that you not only know more than them about film, but you love it so much that you'll wear it on your body.



4. If the movie has explosions and the director has never even been nominated for an Oscar, you HATE it. Especially Micheal Bay.



5. If the movie even looks like Uwe Boll was apart of it, then you have to laugh like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. If you don't get the reference, just give up, you'll never be a real movie snob.

Well that's all for now. Start by putting these guidelines into effect and doing some research into various films. To be continued.