The Great Movie Round Up

I have been so busy lately that it's been really hard for me to write an article, let alone a review for every movie I've seen, so I've decided to do a round up of all them, giving quick reviews. So here it is folks, a mini-review on pretty much every movie that has played in the last two months.

SAW IV

The fourth outing in the franchise that started the torture porn genre is an obviously shameless attempt at more money. With all the trademarks that make this series so easy to hate or hard to love: ridiculously unnecessary torture scenes, a weak plot, weak characters, a twist for the sake of a twist. Unless you liked the others or feel that you really need to see it since you've already saw the first three, skip it. 4/10

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

A fairly interesting sequel to a well received movie I never bothered watching, that never can become more than fairly interesting. The costumes and set designs are very well done, and the acting is pretty good; the story is just not all that engaging. So unless you feel like throwing down some money to see my boy Clive Owen rock some ass like always, wait for DVD. 5/10

The Game Plane

If you like The Rock enough to spend $6-10 or you have kids, go see it. If you don't, then avoid this, unless you like cliched Disney movies, or want to wait till DVD. 5/10

Dan In Real Life

A pretty funny movie, if not predictable. If you like Steve Carell, then I would recommend going to see it because it's his performance that saves the whole movie. He continues to show that he is a real actor, as well as the adult equivalent of Micheal Cera. 6/10

The Heart Break Kid

Another pretty funny movie but instead of predictability being it's downfall, the fault instead goes to the casting of Carlos Mencia. The movie is generally funny, if not extremely raunchy, but Mencia just leaves too bad a taste in my mouth for it to garner a higher grade. NOT A DATE MOVIE. 6/10

30 Days Of Night

The vampire equivalent of "28 Days Later". This is a good movie that relies more on suspense than horror (the way it should be, IMO) and delivers that very well, along with a lot of gore. It is a little predictable at times and the ending smells of cheese but it is overall a fun movie that you will get caught up in. 7/10

The Kingdom

A tense action movie that is better than you probably think. The action scenes are very well done, enough time is taken for an intriguing investigation and some actual character development, so when the shit hits the fan, you actually care what goes down. All this along with a message on today's society that should actually be heard. 7/10

We Own The Night

A very engaging drama/thriller that was marketed all wrong. It looked like "The Departed" but it was more like "The Godfather" and Mark Wahlberg does not kick all kinds of ass. In spite of all this though, it is a very well done thriller about family, honor, and courage that has a very nice 70's vibe to it. The acting is very good along with some very nice direction. 7/10

Micheal Clayton

Another 70's style thriller that is played out very low-key and quiet. The acting is great and the story is very well thought out. The movie plays more like a drama and starts very slow, which could understandably make it feel slow, but it all pays off in the end when the tension gets turned up. 7/10

3:10 To Yuma

A great western with great action sequences, great acting, a great story, and some great direction. The cinematography is very well done and the acting is exactly what you would expect from Bale and Crowe, amazing. Even if you don't like westerns, this is a great movie about sacrifice and courage that has some awesome action scenes as well. A movie I am definitely considering for my top 10 at the end of the year. 8/10

Gone Baby Gone

Whatever bad things you can say about Ben Affleck, this movie completely makes up for it. Affleck has done a great job, as both the director and the co-writer, in creating a story that is incredibly involving and filled with suspense. His brother, Casey Affleck, gives a great performance as the private eye on the case of a missing girl. This is a great movie that you have to see, whether you think you like Affleck or not. 8/10

Rendition

A beautifully dark movie about political torture and the extreme measures the government takes to secure our safety. Wonderful acting, a great script, and nice direction makes this more than just a movie about how the government is scary. It is a movie about big and small choices, as well as how those choices can affect your life and the lives of others. 8/10

Goodluck to everyone out there in your movie watching. Try to avoid shit. Like Tyler Perry.

Review: In Defense Of The Genre

I'm having trouble writing a review for this album, more than likely because I cant stop listening to it long enough to concentrate, so I will make this short. Say Anything's follow up to the great "...Is A Real Boy", is an amazing album that continues the musical tradition of defying limitations as well as expectations. "In Defense of the Genre", a double disc concept album, tells the story of singer/lyricist Max Bemis falling in love for the first time and ultimately losing that love. The story is split up between two CD's and makes for a completely different experience for each CD. The first CD is a great display of the musical range of Say Anything, with more musical style packed into the first four songs than most bands have in an entire album. While the second CD is more of a straightforward approach to music, with a less upbeat mood than the previous. While the second CD is a very good, it comes up just short of being as great as the first. Bemis provides great vocals, showing off great range in songs such as "That Is Why", along with some extremely well written and diverse lyrics. This is the album that will more than likely end up at the top of my list at then end of the year; it is an amazing album that has at the very least equaled the great album that preceded it.

Noteable Songs:
Skinny, Mean Man
No Soul
That Is Why
This Is Fucking Ecstacy
Shiska (Girlfriend)
Died A Jew
Vexed
About Falling

Ratings
First CD: 9/10
Second CD: 8/10
Entire Album: 9/10

Holy Kubrick!

Today, for those of you who don't know, was the release of a new Kubrick box set. It featured 2-disc editions of "2001: A Space Odyssey", "A Clockwork Orange", "The Shining", "Eyes Wide Shut" and a single disc deluxe edition of "Full Metal Jacket"; plus the feature length documentary "Stanley Kubrick: A Life In Pictures". Now, for those of you who don't know, Stanley Kubrick is my favorite director and obviously this DVD set is like a landmark event for me. There really is no point to this article other than sharing my immense excitement over the fact that I finally have this DVD, evident from the picture featured to the left. I urge all of you to buy or rent this set and see what the art of film really can be. Keep a lookout for I will be writing an article on every movie in this set as I watch them.

"Open the pod bay doors HAL!"

Movie Pick Of The Week #2

Children Of Men

Written By Alfonso Cuaron & Timothy J. Sexton

Directed By Alfonso Cuaron

Let me start by saying how embarrassed I am about this being my first movie pick in about 2 months, and only my second since the start of Gabazooba. I've just been so busy with school that when I do get a chance to see a movie, it's usually not good enough to make me want to write about it. That is until I decided to pop "Children Of Men" in my DVD player the other night. I know that I said that I wanted to write about movies that most of the people I know haven't seen before, but I just can't resist writing about this movie.

This is movie that I remembered greatly after seeing the first time. It stayed with me for weeks after my first viewing. I had it in my top 5 movies of 2006 and I have the poster on my wall. When I bought the DVD though, I just never got around to watching it again. It wasn't that I didn't want to watch it, I just had other things come up. The more I thought about it though, the more I felt compelled to watch it. So I finally watched it for the second time and I have to say, it was much better than I even remembered.

This is a movie that commands your attention and will ultimately get it. The story is fairly simple but deeply layered. The year is 2027 and the world has become infertile. No babies have been born for 18 years and most of the world has fallen to chaos. Britain appears to be the sole standing society, but is teetering on the brink of chaos itself. Theo, played by Clive Owen, is contacted by his ex-wife Julian, played by Julian Moore, and asked to get some transit papers to transfer a young girl named Kee across the country. Julian is a leader of a rebel group that is fighting for immigration rights, for in the Britain all immigrants are hunted down and deported, jailed or killed. Hence the need for the transit papers, for Kee herslef is an immigrant herself.

Theo agrees to help and joins them on their journey, for the only transit papers he could get were joint papers in his name. After a sudden attack, Julian is killed, leaving Theo and Kee alone with the rebel group. They are taken to a safe house, where Theo discovers that Kee is pregnant and is trying to reach the Human Project, an alleged team of scientist that are searching for a cure to infertility. Theo also discovers that the attack that killed Julian was actually orchestrated by the rebel group in an attempt to keep Kee with them, so that they can use her baby as a political figure to aid them in their fight. Theo helps Kee escape and the two set off to meet the Human Project, while being hunted by the rebel group.

What makes this movie so amazing is how atmospheric the world created by director Alfonso Cuaron really is, and his ability to draw you into it. His direction in this movie is some of the best that I have ever seen. The attention to detail that is given in this movie is astounding. If you pay attention to the background during the movies multiple long takes, you will notice the world behind the characters is just as much alive as they are. Along with the great direction, this movie has some of the most astounding cinematography, and certainly the best use of the steady cam since "Saving Private Ryan".

Whats great about the long takes in this film is not only how long they go on but also how they are never boring. Everything that is fit into these long takes is done so perfectly well that it grabs you and never lets go. This is thanks not only to the great direction by Cuaron but also the the great performances given by the actors. Clive Owen gives a brilliant performance as Theo, and I say brilliant because it is a real portrayal of a character. Owen plays Theo in a way that makes him real, nothing more. It's not a flashy or commanding performance, that makes you feel you are watching a great actor rather than a character, but one that you can truly believe is a real person.

Many people think that this movie is political in nature and that the backdrop of immigration is truly the message of the film. I believe that Cuaron's aim was much broader than politics but rather humanity in a global sense. I feel that his story deals more with the selfishness of man and his choices. The issue of immigration in the film is more of a device to show how selfish the world has become. The last remaining society has decided that they are only going to help themselves and any outsiders will be left to fend for themselves. The rebel group who fights for immigrant rights would rather use Kee's baby for their own gain, rather than help her reach the Human Project where her baby could be delivered safely.

Notice how the Human Project itself is questioned throughout the entire film, because nobody has actually seen them or knows if they are even real. In a world that is at war and every side thinks only of themselves, the thought of a group of people that are actually doing something to better the whole world cant really be believed. It's also to note that every person that is good in nature in the film, and tries to help Theo and Kee, lives in hiding. The last bit of good and selflessness in the world has been forced into hiding. Cuaron paints a picture of a world that has been consumed by selfishness and evil, where good people have to hide and are always in danger of losing their lives. But he leaves his world not without hope.

There are many symbols in this movie, such as the fact that Theo goes most of the movie without shoes and every animal he comes into contact loves him; but the most obvious symbol is of course Kee's baby, as a symbol of hope. Notice the wonderful scene towards the end of the film when Theo and Kee carry her baby out of a building in the middle of a battle. Everyone puts their guns down at the sight of the child and for a brief moment, there is peace. The soldiers and rebels think not about themselves or their war, but are awestruck by the sight of the baby and the hope that it brings. It is only once they pass through the group of soldiers that the war begins again. It is a beautiful moment, capable of sending chills through my body every time I see it. It is this moment that I feel embodies everything Cuaron is trying to say. The world needs hope and a world without hope is not a world worth living in. People must be willing to fight but for hope and for the betterment of the world, rather than selfish reasons.

I urge you all to go and see this movie. Even if you've already seen it or you didn't like it, go watch it again. It is a movie that grows on you and stands above most films being produced these days. It deals with issues bigger than itself and succeeds in everything it tries to do. It will draw you in and and entertain you, as well as give you more than enough to talk about. I urge you to watch it and discuss it; there is certainly something there to be found by everyone.

9/10

How To Be A Movie Snob

Have you ever wanted to shove your vast knowledge of the art of cinema in your friends faces? Have you ever wanted to have everyone hate you because of your pompous views? If so, then you'd probably make a great movie snob. In the first part of an ongoing series, I, the greatest movie snob on Gabazooba, will show you all the steps you need to follow how to be that most hated of all movie lovers. These are in no particular order.

1. It's all about language my potential movie snobs. To be a true movie snob you must move past words like "Awesome" and "Great". Turn those childish Micheal Bay loving words into true movie snob language with phrases like "Bergmanesque" and "Self Indulgent". If you really want to succeed at being a movie snob, I would suggest investing in a thesaurus. Use it to change all of the words with 1 0r 2 syllables, into wards with at least 4.



2. Be outward with you opinion. If it seems like someone doesn't want to hear what you have to say, it's only because you haven't let them know how right you are yet. Don't be afraid to but in either, even if you don't know the person. They'll thank you later. Also, if you are standing in line for a movie line, that's the perfect time to speak very loudly so that everyone can hear you opinion, just like in Annie Hall. If they were real movie snobs, they'd thank you for the reference.



3. Don't forget to be subtle about your opinions either. I for instance have two T-shirts that express my movie snobbery. The first has the logo for Janus Films (if people ask what it is, I laugh) and the other features the logo for the Criterion Collection (if people ask what it is, I also laugh). Find ways to be subtle about it, i suggest ordering merchandise from places such as criterion.com. This lets everyone know that you not only know more than them about film, but you love it so much that you'll wear it on your body.



4. If the movie has explosions and the director has never even been nominated for an Oscar, you HATE it. Especially Micheal Bay.



5. If the movie even looks like Uwe Boll was apart of it, then you have to laugh like Tom Hulce in Amadeus. If you don't get the reference, just give up, you'll never be a real movie snob.

Well that's all for now. Start by putting these guidelines into effect and doing some research into various films. To be continued.

Time Machinestein

While scouring the Internet I came across a most interesting discovery. I stumbled upon a script that has started a bidding war between Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel. They both are wanting to be the channel that gets to produce this fine script and hopefully the war will end soon and this fine story will grace our television screens. I'm going to do you the favor of posting the treatment for the series first episode. So here it is folks, the treatment for the un-produced kids show, Time Machinestein.

Characters

Alex Machinestein- 7th grader. Smart but socially inept. Has a crush on Amy. Can go back in time, presumably because his uncle is a wizard.

Chuck Bustler- 7th grader. Alex's best friend. Not smart and socially inept. Has a crush on any girl. Can't go back in time because his uncle isn't a wizard. Provides comic relief.

Amy Green- 8th grader. Pretty and smart. Popular. Leads Alex on.

Spike Broseph- 8th grader. Bully. Strong, mean, and hurtful. Known to pants Alex and Chuck when Amy is around.

Gary Machinestein- Adult. Alex's father. Banker. Provides fatherly advice.

Susan Machinestein- Adult. Alex's mother. Housewife. Provides dinner.

Jenna Machinestein- 3rd grader. Alex's sister. Annoying and sinister. Known to get Alex in trouble.

Wiz Machinestein- Adult. Alex's uncle. Wizard.

Episode 1- Gee Wilikers

Alex wakes up. Gets ready for school. Walks down stairs to eat breakfast. Jenna pops out from behind a stair case and scares him. Alex shouts "Gee Wilikers!". There is a flash of light. Alex is standing in his room in his underwear, looking for his socks. He gets dressed and walks down stairs for breakfast. Jenna jumps out from behind the stairs to scare him but he isn't scared, he is confused.

At school, Alex is talking with Chuck about what happened. Chuck suggests that maybe Alex is a cyborg and Alex tells Chuck that he is wrong because his mother dumped Berry the cyborg before marrying his dad. Amy walks out of her class and into the hallway. Alex tries to say something but his words become jumbled. It is at this moment that Spike runs up behind them and pants both Alex and Chuck. Alex is wearing Spongebob boxers (or Mickey, depending on which network picks up the show) and Chuck is free-balling. Amy laughs at them both. Alex says "Gee Wilikers". A flash of light. Alex tells Chuck that he cant be a cyborg. Amy walks out into the hallway. Alex is very confused. He tries to say something but his words are jumbled. It is at this moment that he takes a step forward and avoids being pantsed by Spike, but Chuck does not. Everyone laughs.

Alex goes home to find his dad reading the newspaper. Alex tells his dad whats been going on. Garry suggest that maybe he's a cyborg. Alex assures him that this is not the case. Gary replies, "maybe you should go ask your uncle Wiz. He is a wizard you know. I could of been a wizard but no, Wiz just had to be mister big shot. Ooo look at me, I'm a wizard. Hey everyone, let's stop in the middle of Passover and talk about how I'm a wizard. Oy, what a Shlump."

Alex goes to visit his Uncle Wiz in his castle atop of the town mountain. Alex ask him if he knows why he is able to go back in time five minutes after he says "Gee Wilikers". To which Uncle Wiz says, "Because I'm a wizard!". After speaking with Wiz, Alex discovers that he is now able to jump back in time after uttering that phrase, because his uncle is a wizard and the wizard gods thought it would be helpful for such a socially inept boy to have something like that in his life (Damn this is good television). So Alex leaves the castle and decides to use his power solely for personal gain, in hopes of winning Amy's heart and pantsing Spike at the big dance, when his band is in the Battle of the Bands to save the town youth center from being demolished, by the evil corporate president, who is really a warlock, who hates Alex because his uncle is a wizard.